I don’t kill people, my mustache does It doesn't like to be called peach fuzz Watch out it's real Hetero man If you start to cry it won't understand My mustache likes to beat up guys Likes to steal your girl and not apologize My mustache likes to show up late... Drunk, he'll even ask your mom on a date My mustache is responsible for everything bad in this world My mustache owes apologies to you But it won't say sorry cause it's not a girl My mustache is just that way Get used to it girl, to him your name is Babe My mustache is just that way It uses four letter words real GOOD I don't French tickle, my mustache does It arm wrestles, high fives, but don't do man hugs Watch out girls it's incharge of me Puts a little tent in my pajamies My mustache got a deal on his girlfriends implants Doc ran out of silicon, used rubber bands They're a bit lumpy, and a bit unbalanced But they "STRETCH!" like you wouldn't believe My mustache saves food for two Ketchup, Mustard, sometimes lettuce too My mustache likes chicken and steaks Hamburgers and fries, but not milkshakes My mustache wrote the book of love Oops did my mustache just grab your butt? My mustache just acts that way, It's not me, My mustache did it!